


9 - Look for me in the people I've known or loved

by saltysarah



Series: For I Still Live [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bullshit Science, Consent, Developing Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Sexual Experimentation, Time Skips, communication is key
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-28 02:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30132828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltysarah/pseuds/saltysarah
Summary: Cerasi, Obi, and Nield's developing relationship through the years.Begins immediately after 2.
Relationships: Cerasi/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Nield
Series: For I Still Live [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2193600
Comments: 5
Kudos: 102





	1. ONE - kisses and cuddles

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Merrit Malloy’s poem, Epitaph.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes 6 months after 2.

It had been exactly 6 months, 1 week, and 3 days since they’d last seen Obi-Wan. He looked better than their last memory of him, not that that was hard. He wasn’t crying, for one, and he was able to look them in the eye. He wasn’t injured, either, and he’d put on a bit of weight. His hair had grown out, too, and he’d tied back the front to keep it out of his eyes, but the the rest of it lapped at his cheeks in the light breeze.

“Oh, Obi-!” Cerasi gasped, and made to rush forward. Nield caught her arm before she could. It wasn’t- she had to know he wanted, just as much as she did, but Obi-Wan hadn’t been the only one of them learning these past months.

Obi-Wan’s blue-green eyes darted between them, then stayed on where his arm was on Cerasi’s. Their colour seemed clearer now, somehow.

“Oh,” Cerasi said faintly. “O- Obi, can I hug you?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes flashed, and Nield knew they’d done the right thing.

“You’re asking, now?”

“We’ll always ask, now,” he said, his throat tied. “It- wasn’t right that we didn’t, before.”

“Oh, you utter fools, come here, _please.”_

It was all the invitation they needed. Obi-Wan was laughing as they smushed him between them, his arms around their waists to hold them close and keep them there.

“It felt like a part of us was missing while you were gone,” Cerasi whispered to the top of his head. Obi-Wan smelt clean, of a different soap and the staleness of space travel. It didn’t seem right for Obi-Wan to not smell like them, to smell unfamiliar.

“I couldn’t have stayed,” Obi-Wan told them straight out, his lips shivering. “I would have-.” He paused and shook his head. “It wouldn’t have been good. There was a lot of guilt I had to work through. That I am still working through. I’m sorry I had to leave, but-.” He looked at them, and his hands touched their faces, light and loving.

“Thank you for letting me go.”

“I’m gonna kiss you again if you keep this up.”

Obi-Wan _hiccoughed_ when he was surprised.

“I- um. Sorry?”

He hiccoughed again.

“I wasn’t looking for an apology,” Nield replied, ducking his head. “I was kinda hoping for permission, y’know, since the last time…”

Obi-Wan just turned red. And hiccoughed again.

Meanwhile, Cerasi was choking on her laughter.

“I swear, by the moon and the stars in the sky, you’re both kriffing _useless!”_ Great, now she was wheezing.

“You wanna kiss him just as much as I do,” he hissed.

“Yeah, but I certainly wasn’t gonna spring it on ‘em like that!” Cerasi hooted, nearly bent over double with laughter. Nield just sighed. At least Obi-Wan had stopped hiccoughing. “I just wanted to start off with a hug, nice and easy, and you - you just jetted yourself off into the next system!”

“Ces, shut up!” he muttered, doing his absolute best to rub his smarting face off. He’d wanted everything to be perfect for when Obi-Wan came back - not to show him what he’d been missing, but to show him how far they’d come.

And they had, all the Young thought so, and even the Mandalorians - although they got happier when they were called Mando-ad instead. He’d read parts of the Integration Guide when Nezra said it would help him understand what Obi-Wan was going through on Manda-yaim, but his reading comprehension still wasn’t the best. Maybe they could find some time and Obi-Wan could go through it with them together. 

A light touch on his hands jolted him out of the thoughts spiralling around in his head.

“Nield.”

He cleared his throat. “Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan was smiling at him, his cheeks still flushed pink, his hair messy from their hug. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, I would like to kiss you, if you don’t mind.”

“You- would?” His voice cracked midway. Khiyosh said it was a case of delayed onset of puberty symptoms, now that their bodies were actually getting the nutrients they needed, and Cerasi would have them too. They and Obi-Wan had been the only Young who’d reached the human age for puberty, although Khiyosh, Rizzo, Metzizi, and a few others would be next.

“And Cerasi, too.” That stoppered her laughter almost immediately. Obi-Wan glanced up at them shyly, still the shortest of them, still the smallest. “I’m afraid that’s all I can offer at this time.” He shook his head. “I’m not- I’m not ready for more, not even-.” He drew in a deep breath and took a moment to centre himself before speaking again. Nield recognised the technique from his own sessions with Nezra.

“I’m not ready to commit, I’m sorry. I won’t ever be, not until I’m more-.”

“Oh, Obi.” Cerasi put her arm around his shoulders, tucking him close. “You don’t have to apologise. We’d never ask for more than you could give - if we did, that‘d be wrong of us. You understand that, don’t you?”

Glancing up at them, Obi-Wan nodded. Nield felt brave enough to take one of his hands and thread their fingers through. Obi-Wan didn’t say anything, just smiled down at their joint hands. It was a good sign, he decided.

“To be honest, we’re still recovering, too.” If Obi-Wan could be vulnerable for them, they could be vulnerable back. “We’ve still got sessions with Nezra, on our own and together.” He looked at Cerasi, who flashed him a quickfire smile. “We get that we have to take care of ourselves, first, before we can think of anyone else.”

It had been- a harsh lesson to learn. They’d all push themselves to the brink for the Babbies, or for just one more of the Young to survive, and it had taken Khiyosh sitting them down and telling them firmly that they couldn’t win this war as a medic, that the Young needed leaders and direction more than they did soldiers.

It truly had been one of the hardest lessons he’d had to learn, to prioritise himself over his fellow Young. It wasn’t like Nield thought he was worth it, either, but Khiyosh had refused to let any of them go until they agreed.

Obi-Wan nodded his understanding, still holding their hands.

“So- kisses and cuddles?” he asked. “Not- not _deep_ kisses, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that, but-.”

Cerasi pecked him on the cheek and then on the mouth. “Like that?” she asked.

Obi-Wan smiled at them both. Nield reached out and tucked a stray bit of hair behind his ear, lingering.

“Just like that.”


	2. WARNING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER BUT A CONTENT WARNING.

The next chapter - and several of the following - involve frank and open discussions between 3 sex-positive, hormonal, and experimenting teenagers. They talk a lot. They try things out with each other. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but the bottomline is, it's **explicit content between underaged characters**. So if that squicks you out or is a hard line, please turn back **now**.

That said, not all chapters are pure unadulterated filth. THOSE will be marked, so never fear. If you'd like to avoid those and read only the ones marked Teen and Under, kindly read Chapter by Chapter and choose your chapters _wisely._ Some of them are subtly plotty, but the main objective of this part of the 'verse is character development and to mark the passage of time.

If it's one thing the Young have learnt, it's that everything changes. On that note, the next chapter will be up tomorrow. Cheers!


	3. TWO - Cerasi & Nield (explicit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the weeks following ONE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this contains explicit content between 2 underaged teenagers.

They didn't have any shame about their bodies. Maybe if they’d been brought up the traditional Melida and Daan way, but war obliterated any sense of propriety, and it turned out their bodies were the one surefire way they could give comfort to each other.

Not _that_ way, not in the middle of a war, don’t be disgusting. They were too exhausted for the most part, and nothing killed arousal faster than Babbies. No, they piled together, as many as they could, as often as they could, for warmth as well as comfort, just to remind each other that they were still alive. To remind _themselves_ that they were still alive.

After the war, after the _mirjahaar’tsad_ sessions, after they learnt what hypervigilance and PTSD were, after they dreamt of what it would be like to truly stand down, after the resurgence of their delayed puberty, after Obi-Wan came back to them for the first time - that was when arousal chose to strike.

Cerasi woke one night, her face pressed against Nield’s throat, both her thighs clamped around one of his and her nipples as hard as pebbles.

Nield woke the next with the fleeting taste of Cerasi in his mouth and wet underthings.

If they were any less brave, they would have muddled around for another 6 months, maybe a year. But they were Young. The morning after Nield, they spoke to Khiyosh, spoke to Nezra, spoke to Obi-Wan and received his permission and his blessing.

Which brought them to where they were now.

“Just because I said I’m not ready doesn’t mean you 2 aren’t,” Obi-Wan had said, eyes steady and patient. “I am younger, I don’t have the same sort of wants you do, not yet.” He paused. “Maybe not ever. Is that going to be a dealbreaker?”

“No!” Cerasi blurted out. “Of course not!”

“No,” Nield said, slower, shaking his head. “You’re a part of us, Obi-Wan. If you don’t - we’ll figure something out. We always do.”

He’d smiled. “So- enjoy your time together,” he said. “Tell me what worked; tell me what didn’t. Tell me separately; tell me together. That’s how _I_ know we’re all in this. I promise I won’t feel left out, not for this. But I will if you keep silent, so- thanks, I guess, for telling me.”

“Of course,” Cerasi had said, smiling warmly. “Come back to us, Obi.”

His smile had widened. “I won’t stop trying.”

After their talk with Obi-Wan, they’d gone back to Khiyosh, who, under Nezra’s supervision, had given them both birth control implants.

Birth control was a thing, for both of them.

“I want to be absolutely sure,” Khiyosh had ordered, and made Nield give them a semen sample. Nezra had taken Cerasi aside to do the necessary tests. A day later and their results came through: the implants were working. They were both effectively infertile.

“I don’t want children,” Cerasi said, “not yours or Obi’s. Maybe not ever.”

They were children themselves; birth control was always going to be a thing for the both of them.

“How far-?”

Nield was very aware of the mess and had condoms ready and a towel laid down.

Cerasi looked down at his cock, half-hard and still continuing to swell. “Not- inside,” she said, wincing apologetically. “The examination with Nezra - she tried to make it as comfortable as possible, and she used lube to help, but it was- yeah. I haven’t even figured out how to come yet!”

Nield shrugged. “We can give that a try, first.”

“You sure? You look- red.”

He wrinkled his nose. “I mean, I didn’t even realise I’d come until after I woke up, so I’ll probably come if I breathe wrong. Lemme just get a condom on first, for the mess. Did you wanna use the lube?”

“Oh! I, uh, wasn’t going to jump straight in, I thought it might be kinda nicer if I figured out where else felt good, you know, and not just- _there.”_

They started off with kissing. That was familiar territory, at least. Kissing while naked, however, was not.

“I can feel _everything,”_ Nield gasped. “Is this always what’s going on underneath your clothes when we kiss?” He moaned, kissing Cerasi again. “Oh man, I’m never gonna get anything done now.”

“You’re one to talk,” she retorted, shivering. Her neck was sensitive but her underarms were ticklish. When Nield touched her breasts - she shivered, harder.

“They’re not very big, are they,” she sighed.

“I mean, they’re yours?” Nield said. “Which makes them just fine, if you ask me. I bet if you ask Obi-Wan, he’ll have the same answer, too.”

Cerasi laughed, pulling him up by the hair for another kiss. He _liked_ that. He liked it when she used her teeth, too, tugging at his lip. Neither of them liked too much tongue with their kisses.

“There’s already enough saliva going on,” Cerasi complained.

Her ribs felt sensitive too, although she admitted she wasn’t sure if this was the anticipation talking.

“You okay to lift your legs?” Nield asked.

Despite herself, Cerasi’s face was bright red.

“Hey, it’s fine,” Nield said, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “I don’t have to look if you don’t want me to. We can just- feel our way around.”

“Yeah,” she said, slowly relaxing, “yeah. I don’t think I can- not yet, at least.”

“And that’s fine,” Nield said. “I don’t think I want you staring at my cock, either.”

“I don’t really wanna stare at your cock,” Cerasi confessed. “It looks so different when it’s soft and when it’s not!”

“Variety is the spice of life,” Nield quoted sagely.

Cerasi burst out laughing and shoved him. “You’re full of shit!”

They kissed a bit more, let their hands continue to wander. Nield got goosebumps down his back when Cerasi walked her fingers down his spine.

“I need to know,” Cerasi eventually said with a gulp of air, and put her hand between her legs.

“Oh!” she jerked, her breathing gone harsh. “That’s- that’s _very_ sensitive.”

“That’s probably your clit,” Nield said, nuzzling her neck.

“If you- _gasp!-_ put in as mucheffort in sex- _gasp!-_ ed as you did reading, you’d- _gasp!-_ finish the- the- _gasp!-_ Integration guide by- _gasp!-_ now!”

He kissed her cheek. “That really what you wanna be focusing on right now?”

“Oh,” Cerasi moaned, bringing her knees up.

“You want the lube? Nezra keeps saying a little lube goes a long way.”

“Ye- yes,” Cerasi gasped.

At least they’d had the sense to peel open the packaging and break the seal before this.

“I, uh, I’m not really sure what I’m aiming for, so just tell me when.”

Nield aimed the nozzle in the general area of where Cerasi’s fingers were pressed against herself and let gravity do the rest of the work.

“Oh- oh- _oh!”_ Cerasi squeaked. “That’s- that’s good.”

Nield quickly tipped the bottle upright and firmly capped it. Great, now there were _sounds_ coming from where Cerasi’s fingers were moving - he caught a glimpse of something tantalising and gleaming, blood-flushed between her fingers and then he was gasping, feeling the blood roar in his ears.

“Oh, you came, Nield,” Cerasi said, sounding just as shocked.

“Told you I would,” he panted, slumping half over her.

“I just wish it were just as easy for me,” Cerasi huffed, still wriggling her fingers. “I feel like I’m almost there - my knees get all tingly, but then my wrist’ll start to ache or something else'll distract me, and then the feeling’s all gone and I have to build it up again from scratch.”

“You want me to help?” He pushed upright on shaky arms, grimacing when he pulled the condom off and wiped himself down. Tying the stupid thing was _hard._

“You gotta tell me what to do, though.”

Cerasi blushed. “Jus- just touch me?” she asked, her voice squeaking. “I- I think I’m almost there.”

He kissed her, ‘cause he knew that best. Cerasi whined into his mouth, and he carefully put his hands on her. They touched each other all the time, but everything was so different now that they were naked.

“If I stay here,” Nield mumbled, “I’m gonna get in the way of your hand, so I’ll-.” He skimmed a hand over her belly, just skating over her breasts before touching her shoulder, showing the route he followed, clambering over her hip to plaster himself against her back.

“Oh,” Cerasi let out, hushed and a little overwhelmed.

“Yeah?” He wrapped himself around her, hissing a little when that pushed his soft cock against the small of her back. “Uh- ignore that.”

She giggled. “You’re kinda poking me with it.”

“Am not,” he muttered, but the more they talked about it, the more her hand squirmed between her legs making that noise, the more his cock started to take notice. That was the familiar curve of her shoulder beneath his nose, the smell of her skin, and he could touch her. She’d given him leave to touch her.

His hips jerked, pushed by instinct, and he groaned as he rubbed his hardening cock against her.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Nield swore, forcing his hips back. Racking his head for any remaining braincells, he finally cottoned on to grabbing a pillow and stuffing it between their hips. Cerasi choked out a laugh.

“Did you just-?”

“You didn’t say I could touch you that way,” he growled, fighting with himself. He wanted to jerk his hips, ground his cock even if it was just into the softness of the pillow. Nield wrapped a hand around himself, shuddering as his head fell onto Cerasi’s shoulder, exhaling shakily. His other hand was on her belly, and felt it tremble.

“Do that again,” Cerasi ordered. “Blow on my tits.”

Nield groaned, that word sounding- wrong, but so right from her lips, and breathed out heavily. Cerasi moaned, her head falling back against him.

“Should I-?”

“Touch ‘em,” Cerasi rasped, her hand moving faster. “I’m- I’m almost there-.”

He cupped one breast and, for lack of any idea, squeezed. Cerasi moaned again, long and pained, and he quickly let go, terrified he hurt her - but she’d gone slack, thighs trembling.

“Oh,” Nield sighed with relief, wrapping his arms back around her. That split second of fear had killed all trace of his desire. “Just wipe your hand on the towel, we can clean up properly later.”

She moved her head back, just missing his nose with the back of her head. “Whaddyou think,” she slurred.

“It’s a lot,” he said immediately. “I don’t know what the kark I’m doing.”

“That’s good,” Cerasi replied sleepily. “If you did, I would’ve wanted to know how you had the brain space to learn that in the middle of a war, and why you weren’t using that brain space to help us win it instead.”

He snorted, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. “You’re a regular riot. You?”

“I thought it would be easier,” she pouted. Nield laughed. “I’m serious! You practically have a- a freaking _arrow_ telling you what to grab. Did you even _see_ the diagram Nezra gave me?”

He snickered, but had to admit Cerasi’s genitals were a lot more complicated.

“I wasn’t expecting you to use that word,” he murmured.

“What word? I used a lot of ‘em.”

He laughed, kissing her cheek again. “Tits,” he admitted, a jolt running through him. “It was- yeah.”

“Really?” Cerasi asked, glancing over her shoulder at him. “Did you expect me to be able to say ‘breasts’ in the middle of that? Breasts breasts breasts. Kark, that’s a hard word to say. _Breasts.”_

Nield had buried his face in her shoulder, muffling his laughter.

“Can you imagine,” she asked, “if I were in- how did Nezra put it again? In the- the _throes of passion,_ that was it.” He was practically wheezing now. “Like, I’m so caught up in feeling everything, I’m just on the verge of coming, and I tell you-.”

She turned around so she could look him in the eye. Nield clapped a hand over his mouth to fight a losing battle with his laughter.

“Nield, touch my breastststs.”

He _howled._

“It’s such a stupid word!” she exclaimed, mouth wide in a jagged grin. “Who even needs that many 'tststs' sounds in one word?”

When Nield eventually stopped laughing, he wiped the tears from his eyes.

“When we next comm Obi-Wan, we should just- randomly sprinkle that word in and see how long it takes him to crack.”

When Cerasi finally stopped laughing, wiping the tears from her eyes, she pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“His face is gonna be amazing. I’m gonna record it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This has become a chaptered story in and of its own right, because if I put the pieces altogether in one large chunk, the enormity of their feelings would cause me to never be able to finish.


End file.
